I'm tossing my hat into the ring!

I know I'm probably getting a late start, but I've decided to run for President in 2012.

I don't know why I'm running for President. Might be because I'm really good at ticking people off and I really don't care what folks think of me. Throw mud at me, but be warned that I'm a country girl and the mud I sling my have come out of a cows heiney.

So every candidate has to have a platform, a list of things she would do or change. Here's my platform. (Wait a minute. Don't gallows have platforms, too?! ACK!)

1. Food stamps are history. If you are hungry then you'll get a WIC like card and you will eat what a dietician has picked out for you. No more eating steaks and lobsters on the taxpayers dime. (Leave those meals for Congress!) When you're on WIC you have to attend nutrition classes. Same with this program. Monthly classes that cover nutrition, budgeting and 1001 ways to fix cheap hamburger. If you are diabetic then you can go to the grocery store and get food that fits a diabetic diet. Be warned that the food won't be fancy or name brand. If you don't like it then get a job and buy your own darn Fruit Loops. Until then you can eat the "Fruity Rings" cereal like my kids eat. It'll still turn your poo green just like the real stuff.

2. Prisons would be reformed. If our soldiers can stay in semi permenent buildings (tents) while living in Iraq and Afghanistan then so can the prisioners It won't be Club Med, but it'll get the job done. Oh, and no more sitting around in prison. You can make liscense plates or raise food for your fellow inmates to eat or even make little rocks out of big rocks, but you will not sit and watch Jerry Springer on the taxpayer dime.

3. Here's my foreign policy. If you aren't 100% for us then you can't have any of our money. If we go to war then you go to war with us. If you support us and a famine hits then you better bet that we'd be the first ones there with some of the best food that our farmers can grow.

4. Women who want to get their tubes tied can do it free of charge with paid leave from their work. If you're on welfare then you can be on it an additional 3 months.

5. Speaking of welfare, you can only be on it two years of your life total. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of seeing 3rd and 4th generation welfare families. As long as McDonalds and Wal Mart are hiring, we don't need that much welfare. Of course we'll provide daycare for your kids...but if you have another kid while on welfare then you have to take a 6 week course in birth control before we give you another penny. If you can figure out how to sign up for welfare then you can figure out a condom.

6. Health care. Everyone gets it for free. No one should lose their home because they get cancer or have an accident. Now that everyone's working and eating better, it'll be more affordable. Of course we'll have to have a tax on soda, smokes and any food that's got butter or sugar in it or tastes so good you'd wrestle a nun to the ground for it.

I would devote more of the governments time and money towards the following things: Medical research for real things like a cure for cancer and not for things like long acting boner pills, no emission cars, quality education for all ages, and finding homes for every kid who needs a home.

I believe in the following:
*if your kid comes into foster care once then you should be allowed to earn that child back. If they come in again you get fast tracked on the tubal and your kid gets a home with parents who love them and care for them.

*teachers should be paid more. If you do the math, babysitters get paid more and yet our educators are expected to teach our kids, too. Bad teachers get fired the day after the yearly testing results come in. (Did I mention that we'd come up with a fair test?)

*If you want to work, the government will have a job for you. It may be picking up the trash in local park or digging ditches for a public works project, but we'll find work for you.

*the flat tax. Let's set it at 22% for starters. We can tinker with it from there. (Why do I now picture a bunch of CPA's and lawyers now out picking up trash in the park?!) Oh well.

*small family farms, veggie gardens and garage sales are now back in vogue.

*Pot should be legal. No one ever got toked and wrapped their car around a tree. Of course the goverment would grow the good stuff and tax the crap out of it. On the good side, we're now taxing Dorito's and brownies like crazy so this move alone could fund a good chunk of our health care bills!

*Corporations and organizations should never be allowed to donate to a politicians pocket. The Constitution was written for the PEOPLE, not for the corporate interests.


I think I'd be a fun President. I will be the first president who can walk in high heels, crocs and barn boots. I know how to catch a rooster with my bare hands, grow some really good tomatoes and I can make a batch of chocolate covered peanuts that would make Martha Stewart cry in despair over the fact that I would NOT share my recipie. Sure my kids would say and do things that would make me embarassed, (armpit farting during the State of the Union Address) but they're kids and they SHOULD do stuff like that.

So what do you think? Would you vote for me?

Me neither.

What a GREAT Day!

It's been a GREAT day here at Happy Tales Farm!

First of all, the garden was GOOD this morning!

Add to this haul 2 more acorn squashes, 2 cantelopes and a summer squash that I gave to the neighbors.

And then the event we've all been waiting for......
OUR FIRST EGG!!!


Isn't it beautiful?!

It's about the size of a ping pong ball, so it's not like it's going to feed all of us, but it's a start!

I've figured up the costs of buying the chickens, the waterers, the food, and all of the stuff you need to properly care for chickens and this little egg right here is worth about $132. The good news is is that from here on out they're free!


Yep. It's a good day!

Swine Flu Hysteria Has Gone TOO FAR!!!

COWS!!!!

We FINALLY have cows in the pasture!!!

OK, so they're not OUR cows. They're rentals. They'll be here for a month. But there's cows in our pasture! I'm so happy to see them out there it's not even funny!

This will be our test to see if the barn, pasture and fences can handle some cattle out there.

Aren't they cute?!



They like to hang out by the corn crib. Kinda looks like we have a cow that's as wide as a barn!


Theo thought they were nice, even if they were a little on the small side!




Oh, and there's nothing like a 500 pound cow to remind me of a very important farm lesson.

Never EVER wear croc's out in the pasture. That's what boots are for, silly girl!

Ring the bell, they're back in school!!!

The kids started school last week, much to their chagrin.

The girls are in Kindergarten, but in different classrooms. After figuring out orientation and finally getting to go on the bus TWO WHOLE DAYS after their brothers got to, they finally got on the bus, too. They love it.

I wonder if they'll be this happy to be on the bus in about 10 years?! Hey, a Momma can wish, right!

Theo is going right next door. He likes being the first one home and being able to come home if he forgets something. He's got a great teacher, but he thinks the math teacher gives them too much work!

Shane rides the bus to Grantfork. It's about 15 minutes away from here. He likes it. It's his first time going to a school that a sibling doesn't go to. It's kinda nice to see him spread his wings. He decided he wants to play the sax and be in the Recycling Club.



Shamon goes all the way down to Highland. His bus comes at 7:05 AM-right when everyone else is getting up. He's also the last one home. It's one of the trade offs of country life I don't like. His school is about 25 minutes away-a little far away if you ask me.



Robbie and I are trying to get on a schedule for when the kids are gone. I'm trying to clean 2 days a week, do work outside one day and go to Weight Watchers on Wednesday. On Wednesdays I also do grocery shopping, drop off the recyclables and do other shopping since I'll be in Edwardsville anyways. It seems like every time I get a schedule going something else pops up. This week I tried to get the door to John's office stripped and ready to be painted. But the paint must be part glue as it was NOT coming off. So I had to wait until Wednesday to go to Edwardsville to get a heat gun. I'd strip the paint tomorrow, but I have 5 gallons of tomatos that need to be put in a sauce. See? It never ends!

This and that

Just a few fly-by tidbits on this post. Maybe once school starts I'll have time to get a whole thought together!

* School starts one week from today! I'll have 5 kids in 4 different schools! They all should be on the big yellow bus by 7:50 each morning. What will Robbie and I do all day?! (Insert hysterical giggle here!) The girls will be starting Kindergarten and are really excited and nervous. We went to registration and it's now more 'real' to them.

*This week we get into a routine! We'll be waking up at 6:45 so that we can be ready to go by 7:45. After we're all ready to attack the day we'll do a few hours of "brain brushing". I figure a sheet or two of easy math facts and some reading should brush the cobwebs from their pointy little heads. I told them that those who grumble will not get any Wii time at all. We'll see how that goes.

*The garden is going. I've gotten several squash so far. We have cantelope, pumpkins, cukes, corn, popcorn, peppers, tomatos, and yellow onions coming up. Green beans and wax beans are about done. I also have an impressive amount of weeds in there. Actually it's an embarassing amount of weeds. I think I just answered my "What will Robbie and I do all day?" question!

*I really do have things planned to do once school starts. I need to paint the barns, seal John's deck to his office, work in the garden, and organize my craft room. Oh, and paint the living and dining rooms as well as the bedrooms. But other than that, everything else is caught up!

*I think we've found a good new Church. Highland Hope UMC is a bigger Church that seems very alive in the spirit. You can check them out at www.highlandhope.org. The kids attended VBS there and I helped with crafts. It was a wild week that everyone seemed to enjoy!

*The goats and chickens are doing well. We're looking for eggs to start showing up around Labor Day. I'm sure I'll be so excited I'll blog about how beautiful the first egg is! The goats are starting to look like bucks and does. Ron, the herd stud, now has a goatee and a nice set of horns. He's like a big dog in that he would be content if I sat in the barn yard and scratched him all day. He's so gentle! Hermoinie is a loud mouth who makes her opinions known! Minerva is too busy trying to get into the boys pen and Albus has a hard enough time keeping his ears out of trouble! They're so much fun to have around!

*A neighbor from the other end of town mowed and baled our pasture. He got something like 30 large round bales of grass out of there. We needed just 4 of them, so he gets the rest. It's nice knowing I won't have to buy straw this winter!

More at a later time. Right now I've got to get the kids ready to go to the downhere concert!

Some pic's I took.

One of my hobbies is photography. I'm not one that can talk F Stops and Apertures for hours, but I can look at a picture and go, "That's pretty." I like to think I have an eye for it and every once in a while the sun and moons of Uranus line up just right and I get a good pic or three. That's what happened one dewy morning on Happy Tails Farm.

Our Morning Glories were looking....welll....glorious. Enjoy!